Tuesday, February 17, 2009

"Know Your Desires"


If you could snap your fingers and make the life of your dreams instantly appear, exactly what would that life look like? While you're working so diligently to move forward, do you have a clear and detailed definition of where you intend to go?

An essential part of achieving what you desire is to know exactly what it is. Unfortunately, the people and events in your world often discourage and dissuade you from seriously considering your own ideas for what life at its best can be.

If you're not diligent about exploring and clarifying your own authentic desires, the world will impose its pre-packaged, shallow and empty desires upon your life. This can leave you frustrated, discouraged and unfulfilled as you strive to work toward goals that have no real meaning for you.

On a regular basis, allow your desires to come bubbling to the surface, so you can more fully understand them and connect with them. Enjoy the fact that there are things for which you truly long, and know that there is a path to every one of them.

Let your vision of what life can be pull you consistently toward its fulfillment. When you are clear about what you seek and why, you'll gain access to the resources and the strategies that will enable you to achieve it.

Instead of suppressing your desires or placing judgments on them, make yourself more and more familiar with their substance. Put real meaning in your life by giving life and energy to the things that mean most to you.

-- Ralph Marston



My thoughts:

I had to share this. This is so very well said. I believe in all of it wholeheartedly, have expressed this truth in a variety of ways through journal entries and creative messages. These are beliefs that I personally live and feel strongly moved by.

I think everyone should live by these beliefs of authenticity for each person can then discover their own truth, path and desires.

Not an easy road to take but it is liberating when you trust in the journey of this kind of exploration.

You begin to see YOU and with each new level of growth and confidence, living in delusional becomes less and less of an option.

I especially find the last paragraph quite potent. I think this is where most people feel the power of fear strongest.

How many of us shadowbox in ways that we are unaware of? We might find, in some cases, that some of the things that evoke the strongest negative reactions (hate, violence, judgment, disgust, resentment, fear and so on) in us might be things that hold some desire or curiosity....things that, if we can become bold enough to confront with the most brutal brand of self-objective honesty, might reveal some aspect of our true nature.

Why are we so afraid of that path to freedom?

Is there true freedom in darkness and delusion? What can we see if we truly become bare to ourselves? How might our lives, beliefs and convictions change? Our desires? Our purposes for living?

Sometimes those changes might compel us to make very difficult sacrifices. In some cases, this might be a long-invested career or even a marriage or long-term partnership. The person we become might not match up to commitments we've made in the past because those decisions were made in darkness...while we wore masks.

This is where some people might feel the need to hold on to delusion because it's too painful to suddenly see so much change and "loss" even if it means we find/gain our true selves in the process.

This is hard for everyone.

"Miniature Doll Eyes: Perception of Whole Worlds"

Yesterday I was thinking of the subject of happiness. I wonder if sensitivity and happiness are directly related. I think so.

I am able to create moments of "happiness" where I take pleasure in the most simplest of things and where I make connections between the dissimilar. I can be very creative in my perspectives to where I am able to create my own worlds and wholly exist in them. But I admit that sometimes I can allow those worlds to become nightmares of some sort where sinister faces and scenes appear around every corner and sweet, pure and playful things aren't exactly as wonderful as they seem. This happens if I let it because there are so many ways to perceive when you let in a variety of triggers ("changing agents" or perhaps "malevolent bottles of dyes") and when invisible shape-shifter entities are seen only when they take on a specific form or identity.

Sometimes you find that those shape-shifters are many sly copies of yourself.

I just had a random thought. Looked outside of my window just now and saw a tall cluster of trees that has been there for as long as I can remember. Their branches and leaves are swaying in the windy atmosphere. I thought to myself, "These are someone's veins." I also began to think that sometimes a hyper-manifestation of details is very sickening...

Where is the blood? Is the blood air? Is the blood represented by any place water exists?

I recently got this vision of being in an eerily silent hallway full of doors on each side. The doors are semi-transparent to where I can see the movement of shadows behind them but no clarity. The end of the hallway shows a panel of two doors, also partially transparent, no knobs, with the out pour of muted bright light. I turn away from the end of the hallway as there is no way to open up the panel. Each time I look for a door handle, a shadowed body showing from behind the panel copies my movement.

I look around at the hallway doors and go to open up one door. I see giant legs and feet shuffling back and forth as I peer in. When I look up, the legs continue upwards forever with no connected body in sight. But they continue to fidget and as they do I can hear dancing sounds that mimic the effects of empty plastic bottles continually falling down on a surface.

I close the door and look across the hallway to approach another door. I can see thick and clear liquid oozing out of the seams of the doorway. The smell is slightly noxious but induces a euphoric feeling each time I deeply inhale and the pleasure makes me quickly envision fading scenarios of bundled shapes and patterns. I open the door and a huge eye is revealed. The eyeball bulges out of the doorway further, quivering and unable to blink while releasing more of that slimy thick clear liquid from the edges.

I feel this urge to punch the eye in the middle of the pupil. Once I do this, the eye pops like a balloon that has just received a sharp pin prick, and releases the sound of a woman's coquettish laugh. The door closes and the knob disappears with the ting of a bell.

I decide to open another door but as I stand in front of it, something doesn't feel right. I feel as if this is the wrong door to open...ever. I open the door anyway and a gigantic head of a penis pops through the entryway. The meatus is very large and stretchy and as I stare into its tunnel, I find myself immediately sucked into its passage. As my body is enveloped by the opening, I feel waves of insane pleasure.

The penis passage appears to be another hallway, a fleshy and spongy hallway. I go further into the passage and with each step I hear the combined sounds of pops and erotic male moans at many pitches. The pitches deepen as I move toward the end of the tunnel. There is a throbbing, bulbous and round wad of veiny flesh at the end. A voice emanates from it and asks me if I know madness. The voice is incredibly low-pitched and threatening in delivery. I answer to it that I know madness and I hear a loud gasp. Before I know it, a long arm fronted with a big tightened fist comes through the flesh knob and punches me in the face to where both of my eyes are damaged. I throw my hands to my face and over my eyes in horror and in pain...and I can feel wetness and pieces of delicate tissue seep through the cracks of my fingers. My legs and feet shift back and forth as I try to bear the pain.

The voice continues to speak to me but I have no idea what it is saying. The language is obscure and like nothing I've ever heard before. The voice gets louder and I can feel the interior walls of the penis tightening around my body. They are closing in. I can't move. My body is frozen in the position of tragic agony. The voice tells me to let go many times and "see". I ignore it knowing that I can't move or that I can no longer see due to the damage and mutilation to my eyes. But it continues to tell me to let go and see. I scream in frustration and horror and struggle to do something. Anything. The voice continues to pressure me into submission to its commands. The walls get so tight around my body that I feel I will explode open into a bloody and bony mess.

To my shock, another voice yells out my name and it sounds like my own voice as I strain to make sense of it at first. My voice is also telling me to let go and see. I scream out for help but I realize that this makes no sense. My voice from afar tells me that if I don't let go and see, that I will die and find myself fragmenting into a million pieces, scattered around many worlds never feeling complete or whole no matter how hard I search and look. Each found piece will immediately unlock a new lost piece somewhere else thus continuing the hellish nightmare.

I fight to open my eyes and let go of the tight sensation that continues to envelop around my body. I find that I can begin to see something although my hands are in the same position. I find that I begin to feel free although the walls of the penile passage still tighten around me.

As this new vision comes into focus, I notice that I am in a blue warehouse room. A naked baby is sitting upright in the middle of the room staring at me with very wide doll-like eyes. The color of its eyes cannot be made out as they appear to constantly change in hue far too fast for perception to take hold of.

The baby hiccups and falls over and reveals a propped mirror behind it. I lean down to see what is in the reflection of the mirror. The reflection is of a large nude infant leaning over to peer unto itself. The eyes are alert, expressive and full of bewildered curiosity...

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Mastery of Potential (MOP)

What are you truly capable of doing? How far can you take your abilities, skills and intelligence?

This question made me think a bit earlier on what I like to call, "Mastery of Potential". I've always been intensely fascinated by what you can get your mind to do and how far you can push it. I don't think many people come anywhere close to seeing what they can truly get their minds to accomplish.

I coined th phrase, "Mastery of Potential" for myself several years ago. Mastery of potential is an act of expanding your mind's abilities as far as possible in order to see what you can accomplish, thus discovering and mastering your true potential.

For short, i like to call this act "Mopping". If someone wants to train themselves in this manner, then they desire "to MOP" or "mop".

When "mopping" you would be exerting yourself to see and do the same things in as many ways as you can so that many areas of your brain can be developed and stretched.

Let's take an artist as an example. A traditional artist who paints and draws.

This artist is a master in painting and illustrating urban/metropolitan scenes. He or she has become very adept at capturing the common denominator of the general feeling and look of big city environments. Keep in mind that what sets this artist apart from the average person in perception here is that the average person in a such a cityscape takes their surroundings for granted. If this average city person was shown a picture of a city scene, they'd be able to point out that the scene was indeed a typical metropolitan scene with typical city elements and usual city motifs, but they would not be able to reproduce this visual understanding in an art piece like the example expert artist could.
Now although this artist has become an expert in this facet of art, there are still MANY ways that he/she are able to creatively apply their intimate visual familiarity of city environments. Basically, there are a "millions" ways you can apply a knowledge in a given area... if you truly wanted to test yourself.


  • The artist can look at fashions often on display in urban environments and be inspired to come up with fashions that take on a city vibe. The artist would start to pay attention to even more minute details in city environments which includes what people are wearing and how they wear it.

  • The artist can look at the type of shapes, objects and colors that are typically thematic of a city and design sculpture, jewelry, furniture that takes on that likeness. This would get the artist to truly know the nature of how furniture is constructed, how forms are three dimensionally built with clay, metal or any other material and how accessories are stylized and created in a multitude of ways.

  • The artist can come up with theme and plots for stories that are set in urban environments with unique situations, characterizations and conflicts that are totally based on urban living. This might inspire the artist to pay closer attention to events, conversations and actions that happen in a cityscape around him/her more than usual.

  • The artist can begin to think in animated or motion visuals regarding big city settings. The artist starts to pay closer attention to the way things move and function rather than how they appear statically appear. This will get the artist to think in actions.

  • The artist can think of making original recipes for foods and drink that capture the quintessence of living in a large city. The artist will start to become more aware of aromas, eateries and foods in many urban places. They will begin to seek out the details for this type of multifaceted sensation.


The artist in this case can use their intimate knowledge and familiarity of cityscapes, normally used in their drawings and paintings, and find many other ways to invent and perceive the -same- area or subject. Each time he/she stretches their mind into exploring other "faces" of the same complex mental diamond, the artist becomes more aware and intelligent; more of a dynamic and profound thinker and creator. They can then function VERY flexibly. They are now riding the path of "mastery of potential".

Of course this is all theoretical. I mean it would take a LOT for someone to live in this fashion. Very -few- people could do it. It would be nonstop learning to the nth degree in the most intense and fully involved manner. You would also need discipline yourself, compel yourself to interact constantly in so many forms and could not be lazy.

You'd have to be fully motivated and highly active. Each person could do less or more than the other but I think most humans are capable of profound expression and expansion. Humans in general are capable of such amazing things and when I occasionally slip into an "alien view" of this truth, it's absolutely astounding.
I then wonder why we are inclined this way as species and I go back to that ever-persistent question, "What is our purpose here as a species?"

I also wonder how we will evolve further over time and what evolution will bring and look like. How much further can we advance collectively on this planet? Where is this all leading to (if you believe that there is a higher purpose in all of this)?

Some might say survival but if that were the only drive, we wouldn't really need to be where we are now regarding technological advancement and industrialization. There are many societies that still live in what we like to call "primitive" fashion and they do just fine surviving. In some cases, they might live less complex and confusing lives than many of us in "first nation" societies. But that's just an argument, a supposition of sorts. Who knows really. But I do know we don't need as MUCH as we tend to want and have in order to "just survive" if that's one's complete answer to my question.

Anyway, going back to "mastery of potential", I'd love the idea of incorporating a bit of that into my life; learning how to see and do things in as many ways as I can...over time of course. I love relaxing too and just being, so I don't feel this need to take it to the extreme and neglect the experience of simple relating and having fun, although I value the idea of "mopping".

In some ways I already ride that wave, but I know I would upgrade my surfboard as well as the waters I choose to surf in if I wanted to. One of my goals is to do just that this year.

Some people might be confused as to HOW to mop. To start, look at something that you think you can do fairly to really well.

Are you an accountant who is good with numbers? If so, how might you apply your skill with numbers in other ways? How about inventing a new equation, using numbers to come up with an innovation financing system for banking and doing taxes, using numbers to learn how to speed add/multiply/subtract/divide big chains of numbers in short time periods, use numbers to come up with a fascinating board game or story or use numbers to invent a personal language? You can do MANY things with your intelligence with numbers and numbers relations. Think about it.

If you are a house painter, start painting pictures, begin creating your own paints and dyes by studying how paints are made, read about the history of paints, use a completely different type of paint for house painting that might just as well or better, come up with a super paint that has winning features, use unorthodox materials for a type of "paint", begin painting with odd objects to see how the painting process can be altered for a new experience or move on to painting other objects other than houses to see how well you do in those areas and how you might see the process differently in those areas.

Mopping can also take you into entirely new areas of ability and make you aware of how related seemingly unrelated subjects or activities are by discovering new connections between things. If you sing, how might you use your singing to inspire writing? If you act, how might you use your acting skills to design clothes or even create sketches for indoor interiors that personify unique "personalities"?

What can YOU do? What does your true potential look like? How many ways can you get your brain to learn and expand?

Try "mopping" and see what happens. See how you develop and discover more about you. The possibilities are endless.

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

The American Dream - Has It Died?

What is the American dream?

Of course each person defines it differently when it is defined on an individual basis, but for many I'd argue that the American dream is about attaining financial prosperity. Some people might argue that it includes other things such as family, romantic relationships, and a great network of friends. I wouldn't disagree, but again I see the driving force of the American dream as the desire for wealth. Wealth represents comfort, security..."good living".

Everyone wants a piece of prosperity pie. I don't feel this is a bad thing necessarily as long as the perspective is in check, in that a person isn't blindly driven, at all costs, by this pursuit.

Because of the economic meltdown, it seems like so many people are thinking that the American dream is out of reach...that it's a dream that must be retired. I am witnessing this sentiment through CNN and C-SPAN news reports, various business/finance/work discussion forums and several friends and acquaintances as discussions deepen on job losses, debt, financial strain and even career refocus. Some people have been in job positions for years that are now categorically disappearing. These are people who've been used to specializing in a certain career role and have invested all of their time, training and experience in a specific skill set.

Not everyone has the luxury of going back to school as they deal with ongoing financial demands that they no longer can meet as efficiently as before (or in some cases at all). Not everyone knows what their next step should be once they realize the need to change their game plan. They might see that their talents and abilities are only best expressed through a specific job type. They are probably still paying off student loans in addition to car loans and credit card debt. I think the current conditions are forcing people to either at least redefine their strategy in working towards accomplishing their vision of the American dream or define it differently completely which might not include the goal of wealth anymore.

I also think many people who currently own businesses are wondering if they will be able to grow their investments as they'd hope to now that they aren't doing so well. In fact their businesses might be very close to folding as they try to make ends meet and pay off both personal and business expenses. Some people might find themselves spending way more time working at their businesses because as a small entity, they too have laid off workers they can't afford to finance, and as a result need to cover many of those duties and tasks on their own. Things only get worse if they are married and have families because there is less time to spend with loved ones.

People who currently work at jobs aren't truly in control, especially now. They do realize that, depending on the agenda of the company they work for, they could become expendable at any time. Furthermore, one doesn't build wealth through an investment of time at a 9-5 job. If that's where <b>most</b> of one's income comes from, they aren't really ahead of the game and there's not much financial leverage. That makes them even more dependent on and vulnerable to their company's provisions. That's not exactly a secure place to be either during an economy's breakdown. People want security and that includes in knowing where they stand and how they are truly valued in an industry.

Some freelancers in certain industries are feeling the pinch too. They might still have work coming in, however new and regular clients in many cases have less money to pay freelancers for a project, so freelancers are having to agree to fees that are lower than what they usually charge hourly. There are also longer gaps present with getting regular work. Several friends who freelance full-time aren't doing as well as before. Many of them live either on their own or with a roommate and express how difficult it is to continue to secure their independence. Some have had to move back home temporarily. I have one friend in particular who is contemplating moving back to the Midwest to live with her family because she can no longer afford her new apartment rent. If she doesn't find some steady work by next week, she is going to book a flight home and have to abandon many of the things she's got going on here which includes her full independence. In terms of her career goals, Los Angeles is also the place for her to be, so that's another disadvantage.

Additionally, I do wonder how many people look at celebrities now. I wonder if the cult of fascination is finally beginning to show a decrease or even result in mass disgust and disdain. Or are people clinging more tightly to "living vicariously" through celebrities by obsessing over them more? Over the years, the culture of celebrity has grown to insane proportions. The lives of celebrities have come to truly represent an obscene and hyperbolic display of the American dream.

As for myself, do I feel that my vision of the American dream has been threatened?

I guess that depends on my perspective. I am seeing some of my plans come through slowly but surely so far and I know I will continue to have to put in full effort in the areas I am focusing on right now for growth and expansion. As for my goals for financial wealth, well I still believe that they are possible and although things are bad for the North American economy there are still opportunities for making money.

I just need to keep up with economic news, continue to research and learn, spend wisely and continue to believe and see that there's a demand for artistic output in entertainment both in the fields of writing and illustration. My career goals mainly lie within those areas. I aspire to write and illustrate books, develop scripts, create and develop animation shorts, design game blueprints for developers (both casual gaming and console), sell and exhibit my artwork and create brands of my own through character designs and storytelling. All these tie into one another and they will happen in time.

If I can make good money doing what I love then I've managed to accomplish the gist of what I define as the American dream. I certainly include well-being and closeness of family, good health, eventually a happy stable marriage with my partner, circle of great friends, artistic enrichment and personal growth.

I guess my dream in a big picture perspective is to live a very fulfilling life where I can appreciate things and people holistically, see tremendous growth, clarity and confidence in myself overall, honor my true passions and constantly be a conduit and pursuer of inspiration. I mean aren't these the most important things regardless of how uniquely they apply to each person? I feel all that generally takes care of the rest. They are goals of substance. Having money alone is not going to bring any of that necessarily although it's a possible byproduct of living your life meaningfully, authentically and to its fullest potential.

So no I don't believe that the American dream is -dead-. I think we all have to make some changes from now on in how we go about pursuing some of our goals and defining what is important to us. I guess we always had to do this but now, there's more challenge to really jump into this process.

2009 will be a year of seeing more focus and fruition in and from my efforts.

For everyone, 2009 should be a year of taking the right risks, expanding perspectives and experiences and applying your potential.

Live fully and life for you and most importantly, never stop believing in your dreams no matter what.