The Whole Universe Inside a Glass of Water

"So what do you do for a living?"
"I bake snakes."


"What did you think? That two men couldn't have sex together and not mistake a knife for a fork?"


"How's that washer and dryer unit working?"


She began laughing insanely and writhing violently on that filthy mattress.


"I am inclined to think that any man can chew his way through his own fat if he wanted to."


"What's so funny about this? I don't know anyone else? Do you? Because I've got a lot of jitters in my heart and each time I expel, the world moves with me."


"Susan doesn't think with all of her sunsets. Eventually, they'll all expire and that will be the Ends of Days for her."


"I know plenty of Christmas men. They are proud, strong and think with a good hunter and gatherer instinct. That'll make any mother proud, that she'll sparkle like a tree and her love will burn like an eternal flame in the passions and throes of the holy fireplace of life."


"Harmony and precincts go together. When one is absent, there's no place for individuals to gather in championship and peace."


"Why those would make a fine pair of gloves! Just hollow out the flesh and bone and hang them up to dry."


"You sure had me fooled. I thought you were lost. But now I recognize you again and we look the same."


The room was very dark, however upon close inspection; she could make out a vague shadow standing in the corner near the heavily curtained windows. The shadow appeared to be rocking back and forth in short sluggish movements. The head looked to be misshapen and the body was somewhat amorphous; long exaggerated extremities and bodily edges that looked to be viscous in texture.
There was a peculiar smell of smoke about the room. She held in her breath and lowered herself further below the bed's mattress level. The shadow began to slowly but steadily drift toward the bed in intermittent but brief displays of disappearances. It looked like a constant play of flickers and with each flicker, the shadow became less amorphous and more revealing...


"Charlie! Charlie!! Please listen to me! Listen to me!!"

"Would you stop yelling?! What's the matter with you? Why were you screaming like that? "

"I can't help it! There's something down there and we have to get out of here!! I know what I saw and...Oh Charlie I am so scared!"

"You stay right here. I am going to go --"

"No!!! Please don't go!! You'll be in danger! Please!! Listen to me!"

"Alright, alright! Calm down and tell me what you saw."

"I...I....I heard this humming sound while I was reading on the couch and it was coming from the refrigerator. So I decided to check it out and...Oh Charlie..."

"Go on...go on."

"I decided to check it out and I opened the refrigerator. I saw this other world Charlie! This other world!"

"What the fuck do you mean this other world? Are you out of your goddamned fucking mind! You must have been dreaming."

"No no no!!! I wasn't dreaming!! I saw it Charlie, I saw acres and acres of moving fields, tall zigzagged blades of grass and big mountains staggering in a darkening horizon! It looked like I could fall right through. I thought I was seeing things but I wasn't Charlie! I continued to look and before I knew it, the heads of these gel-like creatures appeared around the corners of the refrigerator from inside the view! They had large foreheads and I could see everything inside their heads...there was something, like a central eye in the forehead and that made me see a face when I looked into it. Christ! It was my own fucking face and I could see myself opening my mouth really freakishly wide like I was going to attack myself!! Eat myself whole! My face got closer and I thought I was going to fall into my own mouth and get swallowed so that's when you heard me scream and I couldn't stop screaming Charlie! I closed the door and ran upstairs as fast I could!"


"Evening Sir"
"Evening"
"Say, do you know where Oakley Avenue is?"
"I do. It's one more street over. Just continue down this path and you'll see it. You can't miss it"
"Wondeful. Thank you sir!"
"My pleasure."
The stranger's eyes crinkled tightly around the corners, he smiled and continued watering his grass.
George turned around to survey the path down the neighborhood road. He could see the street, that the stranger referenced, just down the path.
"Say sir, I have one more quest--"
The stranger was gone, along with his house and the entire neighborhood. Right in front of George was a door in the hue of soft dull blue. On the door was a label that said Oakley Avenue in bold Baskerville type. George was stunned and bewildered. He turned around again and saw that the back wall of an empty sterile room, in the same color of the door, had replaced the view of the neighborhood road.
George faced the door again and saw that it was now slightly ajar and a glowing yellow light was coming through.
George gave the room another look in complete confusion and apprehensively decided to push the door further open and explore...


"I don't like mustard. I especially don't like runny mustard. It's sickening, it's vile and very horrifying...and when I hear her talk, I become devastatingly ill."


"I smoke cigarettes because I can. You drink because you can't. Our convictions are different."